So I’m afraid of the dark! One of my biggest fears is driving at night! Anything could happen .. my car could breakdown, my tire could explode, I’ve created entirely too many negative scenarios in my head. All I know is, I’d handle it better if it happened in broad daylight, so whatever I had to do, I needed to get it done before dark!
This fear wasn’t harmful as a child under my parents’ protection, but it was CRIPPLING as an adult. There have been outings that I would not attend if my husband couldn’t drive me because I was too afraid to drive in the dark.
My fear of “the night” isn’t new. It’s almost like I was raised to fear darkness. When I was a child, my mother used to always tell me, “the freaks come out at night” so I was ALWAYS home and safe before dark! I’m sure my Mommy Dearest meant no harm, despite this one comment that just stuck with me, she actually taught me to be strong and not afraid! But this idea of “freaky things and people” happening at night just stuck with me.
So this week in honor of No Fear November! I decided I would finally face this fear! I told fear Monday “in time I will conquer you!” And I meant it! There was a church event happening that I didn’t want to miss, with the time change, the sun set around 5:30pm! I’d missed this event for weeks in the past but I said NOT TODAY!! I knew I had to face AND OVERCOME this fear but I also knew I needed a plan. Here’s how I did it.
1) I made a decision to face the fear
I set a personal goal to face and no longer be controlled by this fear!
2) I determined the root cause of my fear
I spent some time figuring out why I was so afraid. I can’t see as well at night. The scenarios mentioned above were huge contributors as well. I was afraid of being lost and alone in the dark.
3) I developed an action plan
I knew what I had to do, I told my husband to let me drive at night, I did this for a few nights in a row. I was safe with him, there was no anxiety so I could face the fear and the road with clarity and focus. I was very intentional about noticing land marks, understanding the highway and directional signs and which ways would take me home.
Then I knew I needed to be prepared. I addressed every root cause and created a solution. This would remove the fear of all the scenarios I’d created in my head. I made sure my glasses were in the car, I fully charged my phone, I looked at my directions and went over them with my husband before I left. I had my husband check the car and tires for safety and functionality and I had a full tank of gas! I now could see clearly, I knew where I was going and I was confident that my vehicle was safe! I was READY!!!
4) I mentally prepared myself
I took a deep breath, told myself, you’ve planned, you’ve prepared, YOU’VE GOT THIS!
The car is safe, this is not as bad as you think, YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU HAVE TO DO THIS! My only other option was to be in the house everyday at 5:30 pm.
Then I just got in my car and did it! Because I’d prepared I was confident! I’m officially a Night Time Driver! Suddenly, the roads were well lit, and it wasn’t so dark anymore. The mind is a powerful thing!
Shoot, I was soo confident that I arrived to my destination a bit early, it was completely dark. I thought to stay put, but then I said NOPE I AM NOT AFRAID! I left my destination and drove to Wendy’s and had a burger!
When it was all said and done, I was proud of myself! I will still use wisdom, but I absolutely WILL NOT be controlled by FEAR!
What fear do you need to face and overcome? Make the decision, discover the root cause of your fear, develop a plan of action, prepare yourself mentally … THEN EXECUTE! You’ve Got This!
Gwendolyn J. Jones 