Sweet Beginnings, New Traditions & Thankful Hearts

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FAMILY! This morning the family and I had hot tea and dessert for breakfast! I thought it would be a nice surprise and maybe the beginnings of a new thanksgiving tradition! We all loved it! 

 Be greedy today, treat yourself to that extra helping of mac n’ cheese or that additional slice of pie. Thanksgiving only comes once year and you deserve it! 

Love you family! Make today a day full of love, joy, grateful hearts and delicious food!! 

 

I realize today is a day full of joy for most but pain and sorry for some. I’m praying for you family, may you be encouraged and strengthened on this day! 

 If you are thinking no one cares, God Cares and I care. If you feel like you’ve been forgotten, God knows your name and I’m writing this post to honor you today, I haven’t forgotten you. 

Choose joy and happiness this Thanksgiving day. Remember you are loved, you are strong, you are valuable and you have purpose! 

 Love You Family! 

 -Gwen 

Do You Believe It or Not?

I needed this this morning! Why waste time and energy on a thing that I can’t change! Last time I checked, that’s what my God is for! To carry these burdens and lighten these loads! Accepting these things = Releasing them and Believing that God has it under control! 

If you can’t Accept AND RELEASE .. you might wanna check WHO/WHAT you believe! I’m a control freak and I’m preaching to myself .. this is a decision I had  to make.  

Often times there’s a battle between what I FEEL and what I KNOW!  To be totally honest sometimes my feelings win, and I find myself feeling down.  I’ll look around and all I can see is what’s broken, what’s dirty, what’s due and what else I have to give.  If I don’t quickly re-gain control of my feelings, my thoughts become tainted.  When I don’t put the negative thoughts in check, my heart will begin to change, towards my family, my co-workers, towards how I veiw myself and my life!  It’s a terrible, dangerous thing and I’m no psychologist but I honestly believe that unchecked feelings eventually lead to depression! 

So the battle begins!  My Mommy Dearest always told me to take my feelings off of my  shoulders and put them in my pocket!  Now, let me say this, feelings are important and should be acknowledged and valued.  Your feelings give great insight to your personal truth, HOWEVER, one can NOT live by how they feel and feelings must be put into their place!  

Decisions should not be made based upon your feelings, friendships should never end because of how you feel, your children and husband should not be under attack because of your unchecked feelings!!! 

So this morning I said, “Self .. check your feelings, are they in your pocket or on your shoulders?  Accept what you can not change, repair any damage you and your feelings may have caused others.  Get up, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER .. TRUST GOD AND DO BETTER!! 

Are you lifting and carrying a weight that wasn’t meant for you.  If you find that your home and family seem like more of a burden than a blessing, before you attack them, check yourself first! You may actually be the problem!  I KNOW I was! 

I dedicate this blog post to my wonderful husband Alfonzo D. Jones II and my two FAB Kids, Alyssa & Joshua!  Thanks for putting up with my feelings thus far but please know, I’m putting them in their place! We’ve got this Team Jones! I couldn’t do what I do without you guys! You all are my why and sometimes my How and WHAT too.  You guys fill my cup daily!  

MY FAMILY IS A BLESSING AND I LOVE THEM!

#RealMom #RealWife #RealLIFE! 

How I faced & Conquered My Biggest Fear!

So I’m afraid of the dark!  One of my biggest fears is driving at night! Anything could happen .. my car could breakdown, my tire could explode, I’ve created entirely too many negative scenarios in my head.  All I know is, I’d handle it better if it happened in broad daylight, so whatever I had to do, I needed to get it done before dark!  

This fear wasn’t harmful as a child under my parents’ protection, but it was CRIPPLING as an adult.  There have been outings that I would not attend if my husband couldn’t drive me because I was too afraid to drive in the dark.  

My fear of “the night” isn’t new.  It’s almost like I was raised to fear darkness.  When I was a child, my mother used to always tell me, “the freaks come out at night” so I was ALWAYS home and safe before dark!  I’m sure my Mommy Dearest meant no harm, despite this one comment that just stuck with me, she actually taught me to be strong and not afraid! But this idea of “freaky things and people” happening at night just stuck with me.  

So this week in honor of No Fear November!  I decided I would finally face this fear!  I told fear Monday “in time I will conquer you!” And I meant it! There was a church event happening that I didn’t want to miss, with the time change, the sun set around 5:30pm!  I’d missed this event for weeks in the past but I said NOT TODAY!! I knew I had to face AND OVERCOME this fear but I also knew I needed a plan.  Here’s how I did it.

1) I made a decision to face the fear

I set a personal goal to face and no longer be controlled by this fear!

2) I determined the root cause of my fear

I spent some time figuring out why I was so afraid.  I can’t see as well at night.  The scenarios  mentioned above were huge contributors as well.  I was afraid of being lost and alone in the dark.

3) I developed an action plan

I knew what I had to do, I told my husband to let me drive at night, I did this for a few nights in a row. I was safe with him, there was no anxiety so I could face the fear and the road with clarity and focus. I was very intentional about noticing land marks, understanding the highway and directional signs and which ways would take me home.  

Then I knew I needed to be prepared.  I addressed every root cause and created a solution.  This would remove the fear of all the scenarios I’d created in my head. I made sure my glasses were in the car, I fully charged my phone, I looked at my directions and went over them with my husband before I left. I had my husband check the car and tires for safety and functionality and I had a full tank of gas!  I now could see clearly, I knew where I was going and I was confident that my vehicle was safe!  I was READY!!!

4) I mentally prepared myself

I took a deep breath, told myself, you’ve planned, you’ve prepared, YOU’VE GOT THIS! 

The car is safe, this is not as bad as you think, YOU CAN DO THIS!  YOU HAVE TO DO THIS! My only other option was to be in the house everyday at 5:30 pm.   

Then I just got in my car and did it! Because I’d prepared I was confident! I’m officially a Night Time Driver! Suddenly, the roads were well lit, and it wasn’t so dark anymore.  The mind is a powerful thing!  

Shoot, I was soo confident that I arrived to my destination a bit early, it was completely dark. I thought to stay put, but then I said NOPE I AM NOT AFRAID!  I left my destination and drove to Wendy’s and had a burger!  

When it was all said and done, I was proud of myself! I will still use wisdom, but I absolutely WILL NOT be controlled by FEAR!

What fear do you need to face and overcome?  Make the decision, discover the root cause of your fear, develop a plan of action, prepare yourself mentally … THEN EXECUTE!  You’ve Got This!

A Note to Fear

Dear Fear,

This is your official eviction notice!  

Effective IMMEDIATELY: 

You NO LONGER control my actions or decisions! 

You NO LONGER HAVE POWER OVER ME!

I REFUSE TO LIVE IN FEAR!  

MY MIND WILL BE FREE!

I NO LONGER SUBMIT TO YOU!

Today I FACE YOU! 

IN TIME I WILL CONQUER YOU!

I understand that this transition will be a process but my freedom is worth fighting for! 

Today I stand armed and ready .. BRING IT .. YOU WON’T WIN!  

I have moved from fearFUL to fearLESS.

I WILL WALK IN CONFIDENCE! 

I AM FULL OF FAITH!

I AM BOLD! 

I AM NOT AFRAID!

Sincerely,

Gwendolyn Jones *AKA* Fearless
What are you afraid of?  TODAY, choose to FACE IT and then work daily towards conquering it!  YOU’VE GOT THIS!  We can do it together.  

Inspired by my FearLESS Pastor – Thank You, I’ve been held captive to fear my entire life .. this STOPS TODAY! 

The Heart of A Child

I just had a conversation with my kids! Wanted them to hear the news from me first! I told them who our new president is and their little hearts were troubled! Despite my personal feelings, this was a time to teach and train them. So I took a deep breath and told them our family truth:

1) We trust God not man! God is in control and his word says that he will guide and protect us, we are not to walk in fear, but remain confident in our God.

2) Our next leader is now chosen:

A) We will respect his position

B) We will pray for Mr. Trump

C) We will NOT engage in negative conversations concerning our new president.

D) Outside of the walls of this house, we will keep our words and our thoughts to ourselves.

We all took a deep breath together, I reminded me that they can always share their truth with me and I asked them if they had thoughts or feelings they wanted to share. Lyss says, “But Mommy, we don’t know what he’s going to do” and I reminder her that although there is much truth in her words, we follow and trust in God not man!  God is our source and our protector and it is God that is truly in control of this world.  

She said ok, and I sent her off to school.  I went into this conversation, hoping to prepare them for their day, who knew that’s what I needed to prepare me!  

So now I must practice what I’ve preached:

Congratulations President Trump, My family will be praying for you as you lead America!

 

Now You See Me .. Now You Don’t

It’s so easy to take the ones that serve you faithfully for granted.  I call them “The faithful few.” You see them everyday, you know that they will pickup the phone when you call, if you have a need they will ensure that it’s met. They are faithful to your calling and your purpose. When no one else is around you can call them and they will show up!  Many times you don’t know or understand the sacrifices “the faithful” make to accommodate your desires and meet your needs.

My question to you is, have your “faithful” become invisible to you? Has their faithfulness to you now become an expectation? Have you become so comfortable with your “faithful few” that you no longer appreciate them? Are you as faithful to them as they are to you? How would your life change if your “faithful” were to leave you?  

Today I’m writing to remind you to protect “the faithful.” A faithful friend is precious and rare! Many will surround you but few will be faithful to you! Many will come but few will stay.  

I’m working on this myself. I’m very intentional when it comes to nourishing my faithful. It’s not convenient, I honestly don’t have a lot of extra time, but I value my faithful so I figure something out! I may not be able to talk to them every day but when the days become weeks, I’m checking in to say “hello”, letting them know that they are on my mind, and I appreciate them. I don’t care much for phone conversations, but I will send a text and request available dates for lunch. Even if its only quarterly. 

I thank God for my faithfuls!

I dedicate this post to my Faithful Few! I appreciate you, I love you and I couldn’t do what I do without you!  

Glasses, Lenses & Mirrors

I’m not like her, I can’t do what she does, I’m not as strong as she is, I don’t dress as well is she does, I’m not as pretty as she is .. the list could go on and on.   
Feelings of Inferiority are a terrible thing! So let’s address it.

I’m not like her .. you’re not supposed to be her, you are uniquely, unapologetically YOU! If you were more like her you would not be you! I’m pretty sure one of “her” is plenty.

I can’t do what she does .. well what is it that you can do? What is your purpose, what are your gifts. Why are you looking at her when there is plenty of work for you to do. Her gifts are hers, discover and develop your own gifts!  

I’m not as strong as she is .. you don’t know what she’s been through. Her strength is a result of her struggle, she is stronger because she survived! So let’s turn the mirror to face you. What have you been through? What have you survived? Seriously take some time to think about this and discover your truth … I BET you are stronger than you think! She has the strength she needs to survive her struggle, you have the strength you need to survive yours! You may not need her strength in your situation, what are you beating yourself up for?

I don’t dress as well as she does, I’m not as pretty as she is. This is a big one! We as women spend so much time finding beauty in others and not enough time discovering the beauty that we possess. 

What is beauty anyway?  

Wikipedia defines beauty as , “a characteristic of an animal, idea, object, person or place that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction.  

I did a quick google search on “Beauty in other cultures” and these were the results:

As you can see beauty comes in many forms.  We also learned earlier that it is a “perceptual experience”, simply put it depends on who’s looking!  So what is it that you are looking at that’s causing you to see “Ugly, Fat, Short, Too Skinny, Too dark, Too light, Hair too thick or too curly or too straight” when you look at YOU!  Who are you trying to become, what’s wrong with just being you? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  Fall in love with yourself again!  Turn off the T.V. and look in the mirror, find beauty in yourself!  

And besides, beauty goes much deeper than external features, but that’s a whole other blog.  

Man this is a long post, but I need to be honest and tell you, it wasn’t just for you, the inspiration for this blog post was me!  As I looked around, all I saw was someone else excelling in an area where I’m weak.  As I continued to focus on their strengths, I suddenly could only see my weakness.  The questions that I asked earlier where my actual thoughts / feelings about myself!  I began to think, “Who am I?” “Am I even good enough to continue COJ?” “I’m not wise enough, I’m not nearly as good as she is!” I was at a cross road, these negative thoughts were spiraling out of control and I realized I had two options: 1) I could continue to feed myself doubt, negativity and feelings of inferiority which would ultimately lead to me walking away from my purpose OR 2) I could simply address the feelings (because they are real and valid) and uncover the truth!  

So I choose to stop self pity, and I sat down and wrote this post, I feel much better now!  I hope you do to!  Don’t allow your feelings to cloud your vision and cause you to walk away from your purpose!  Like me, sometimes you just have to clean your glasses and get back to work!  

Love you family! Don’t look at yourself through a dirty lens!