No Longer a Slave to Fear

I’ve been silenced by fear too long. This year I decided enough was enough, and I made it my mission to face one of my worst fears, Public Speaking.  I knew the completion of an online course or a self-help book, was not enough. I wasn’t strong enough to do this on my own and when doors of opportunity opened, I needed to be prepared to enter.  I refused to allow fear to continue to steal my joy and block my blessings, so I joined an educational organization called Toastmasters International. This professional organization teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of clubs.  Our local club, Greenville, NC Toastmasters, offers  the opportunity to prepare and practice your public speaking skills in safety and one of the greatest benefits of being a member is the immediate feedback received after speaking. I attended meetings for about 4 months, I sat in the background, watched and supported others. Finally one of the club officers approached me and I shared my fear of speaking with him.  Mr. William Tran, I’ll never forget his words, “if you don’t present a speech, I’m afraid you’ll be wasting an incredible opportunity.”  I didn’t realize it but fear was controlling me again. I was a paid club member and serving as an officer, but I wasn’t speaking. It’s so easy to hide among the crowd or behind my computer screen.  It’s insane how easy it is to deceive one’s self. This is why community MATTERS! Accountability is so vital to growth and maturity.

I don’t know what your struggle is, but don’t try to face it on your own. You need accountability, you need fresh eyes and ears on your situation. You need someone to tell you that if you remain in hiding, and continue to convince yourself that you’re ok, you’ll miss out on wonderful opportunities that await you.

I can be a runner, so my first move was to block all escape routes, I asked to be placed on the next meeting agenda as a speaker.  I prepared and presented my first speech to the club, it wasn’t perfect but it was finished!  I did it, and to my surprise, the club members voted me best speaker of the evening! My evaluator and peers gave me amazing feedback and a possible networking opportunity was unveiled. I will be an amazing public speaker, I have something to say and I will no longer be silenced by fear.  All this new confidence and revelation revealed simply because I connected with a community of like-minded people, allowed a fellow member to hold me accountable, and decided to finally SPEAK UP!!!

I’m no different than you are, choose to STAND UP and STEP OUT in faith today. You’ve got this, if you need help, reach out.

http://www.gwendolynjjones.com

The Power of Thankfulness

Today’s challenge —> Try Thankfulness. Choosing to be thankful puts you in a position of power. Often when the universe doesn’t honor our requests and our days are filled with mishaps, our first response is to raise our white flags and surrender in defeat! Our go-to phrase, “I GIVE UP” provides us with a false sense of comfort and permission to stop living today and try again tomorrow. But what if we replaced those words of defeat with words of thankfulness. When I face opposition, I immediately look for an opportunity to be thankful. When, I’m rushing and lock my keys in the house but I have my phone in my hand, “thank God, I can call for help.” When I’ve spilled my favorite cup of tea in my husbands brand new car, “thank goodness it’s light-colored, can be easily cleaned, and he wasn’t in the car with me to witness it.” When my heart is broken due to disappointment, “thank you God for revealing the hidden knife that could’ve very well stabbed and killed me. “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NAS). When you find yourself standing at a crossroad, understand that you’re fully equipped with the power of choice. Choose thankfulness and resist defeat.

http://www.gwendolynjjones.com

The Perfect Shot

How many photos to you have to take to get one that you love? Took me about 10 to get the one you see here. This in mind, why do we put so much stock in what we perceive to be perfection. A flawless photo, the perfect wife or mother, the accomplished girl boss or the chick with the perfect gentleman in her corner. In reality, it took 10 takes and 4 filters before that photo was worthy enough to reach your field of view, girlfriend may be killing wifedom and motherhood but she certainly isn’t perfect, and the Girl Boss, yeah she’s killing it but she has internal struggles that she never shares.  What’s my point? Support your sisters but be mindful of your perception of reality and actual reality. Once perception and reality meet, 9 times out of 10 you’ll realize that you’re actually out here killing it too, you just can’t see it because your focus is on someone else! Sometimes we need help filtering through the noise, that’s what I’m here for, let’s get clarity together! I’m ready when you are!

http://www.gwendolynjjones.com

#FixYourFocus #YouMatter #LookWithinNOTAround #YouMatter #GwenSpeaks #Notricks #NoGimics

What’s for Lunch?

It’s lunchtime! If you haven’t already prepared your lunch for the day, decisions have to be made! Lunch and dinner are difficult, sometimes frustrating times for me as I’m forced to answer the big question, “WHAT AM I GOING TO EAT?” I have access to all kinds of food, but this daily dilemma presents the opportunity to CHOOSE. Should I satisfy my cravings and get what I want, or use wisdom and get what I need, even if what I need is less convenient than my want? I must also consider the quantity and quality of my meal. If I choose to go with my want, do I supersize and overindulge, or do I set myself up for a win and purchase just enough to satisfy the craving? Decisions, Decisions, every day, I get to choose, every moment I get to choose. What I’ve learned is in some cases (dare I even say most cases), just because I have full access to a thing, doesn’t mean I should take full advantage of it. Sometimes what I choose only affects me, oftentimes it’s not about me and my decision affects others, either immediately or long term. So I ask you today, what’s for lunch? Choose wisely, be sure to consider all options available to you and count the cost. But more importantly than that, I pass on the words that my dear mentor shared with me to you, “YOU GET TO CHOOSE!”

I chose to satisfy my craving yesterday, today I’m choosing to meet the need, whatever the cost!

I dedicate this blog post to the beautiful, amazing Lois Hall. You’ve been more than a blessing to myself and many others, you’re an advocate and you touch many lives. Your words changed my life, if I’ve never thanked you for those words, THANK YOU!

🚨 Positive Self-Talk CHALLENGE 🚨

🚨 Positive Self-Talk CHALLENGE 🚨

When you think of something negative speak something positive!

As you work to complete your day, be intentionally aware of your words. What you say about your job, your boss, your spouse, your children, YOURSELF matters! If you find that negative self-talk is your normal, as soon as you hear/think a negative thing CHOOSE to SPEAK something positive! You shall have what you speak, so speak well of yourself and those attached to you. Remember, you don’t have to feel it, just CHOOSE to SPEAK it!! If you find you can’t change your language on your own, no worries, allow me to hold you accountable.

I’ve given you three positive positive phrases 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾, if you can’t say anything on your own read this out loud! It counts! If you feel empowered and are brave enough to add to this list, help us out, post your positive self-talk below.

Love you, proud of you already

-Gwen ❤️

Ode to the Misfit

mis·fit /ˈmisˌfit/ : person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way.

Ok, I’ll go first, I’m a bit of a nerd, an amateur philosopher. I prefer silence, meditation, a cup of hot tea and a good book to binge-watching Hulu or Netflix. I’m a producer, a builder, what most would affectionally call an entrepreneur. I’m always seeing, always dreaming, always creating. My field of dreams expands almost hourly, I often find myself buried under many witty inventions and creative ideas. I’m an executor, I rise early and immediately begin to put plans into motion. I believe my husband would define this trait as his, “partners annoying habit” because I am all up in the details. I’m generally surrounded by visionaries, they communicate the big picture and I immediately go to the who, what, why, how, when and where. I gravitate towards wise men and women that I can glean from, fellow dreamers, and fellow builders. I thoroughly enjoy long talks about the mysteries of the universe and lessons learned from diverse life journeys.

Am I boring you yet? Don’t worry, you can be honest, you’re safe here and your feelings truly do matter. I’m no stranger to being misunderstood, I’ve actually become accustomed to feeling like a public misfit. I don’t share these private thoughts to obtain pity, I share them to encourage and inspire other misfits like myself. The long list of traits I’ve shared in my introduction can be and often times are quite annoying to others. There aren’t many like us and we must learn to accept ourselves, and continue to love, learn, and embrace ourselves just as we are. What we cannot do, fellow misfits, is dumb down or hide who and what we are in an effort to make others comfortable. We must bridle our passion and tame our intricacies to co-exist peacefully, but we must never be ashamed. Learn to love and embrace your uniqueness, lift your head up and walk in confidence.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5, NIV

God made no mistakes when he created you. If you find yourself feeling lonely, lean on the wisdom of Iyanla Vanzant and “Share your love with YOU!”

With Love,

Gwendolyn J. Jones

Proud, Unapologetic Misfit

Celebrate Each Win

Look for the wins

Learn to begin each month, even each day with the expectation of great things! We’re so good at finding and pointing out negatives, unfortunately, we have to train ourselves to see our positives. This month choose to focus on the positive. My GR family knows that it’s the small, correct choices that we make daily that lead to sustainable change. So all of July, LOOK FOR YOUR WIN! If you said, “no” to that cigarette -> WIN. If you drank one less cup of alcohol today than yesterday-> WIN. If you stopped and took a breath before you exploded -> WIN. If you put your phone down for 10 minutes and spent that time with your husband and kids -> WIN. If you took 5 minutes of your lunch break to pray -> WIN. You’re doing so much better than you think you are, you just have to train yourself to see it. When you recognize a win, do me a favor, take your right hand, place it on the back of your left shoulder, and pat yourself on the back, because you are WINNING!!! Identify your wins, continue to practice self-love and watch things change for the better. I’m already proud of you, I look forward to the moment when you are proud of yourself!

Let’s start now, List one win from today 👇🏾?