Count the Cost

So this year I finally said ENOUGH!

I’ve decided to face a giant! A trap that causes me to commit financial suicide time and time again! A chain that’s had me bound for years. I cringe as I type and thus agree to this commitment publicly but desperate times call for desperate measures!

What is my strange addiction you ask? I confess confidently yet shamefully, it’s SHOPPING! Unfortunately, shopping isn’t even my issue. My addiction is rooted in my need to meet nonexistent expectations. Sadly, my confidence is tied to my attire/presentation and it’s not ok! After much self evaluation a second reason I lose to this giant almost daily is impulse! I don’t need it, but when I see it (especially on clearance 👀) I have to have it!

In order to beat this giant and break this chain I need four things:
1) A strategy – hence the graphic. This is a battle of the mind. It begins with a mental shift. I commit to measuring each purchase by this ruler!
2) An accountability partner. One that I’ve given permission to, “Check Me.” One that’s agreed to accept the responsibility of taming my admitted irresponsible behavior at all costs.
3) A memoir. Something to remind me of what my failure to adhere to this commitment will cost me! I’ll put this on my phone, I’ll see it daily on my desk at work. A reminder of what an unnecessary $10 purchase is really costing me: my goals, my dreams, my financial freedom!
4) A reward system! Maybe every time I say, “no” to a purchase I put $1 in an envelope. After 20 “no’s” I will have earned one $20 purchase! Maybe I give the envelop to my accountability partner and when I’ve reached the goal they allow me the cash to make the purchase?

Whatever I do, I’ve got to start somewhere!

Accountability is everything, if you struggle in this area and are interested in a virtual support group inbox me or comment “Me.” I don’t have all of the answers but I have access to useful financial rescources and I am a firm believer that there is power in numbers and we are stronger together ✊🏽!

It’ll be hard, it will certainly be inconvenient, BUT WHEN WE CELEBRATE IN 2021, IT WILL BE TOTALLY WORTH IT!

Let’s slay this giant and break the generational curse of poverty. Once we master it, we can teach our children and prayerfully as it states in Luke 14:28, they’ll count the cost!

Scrolling Kills

👆🏾👆🏾self explanatory!!

Social media has become a weapon of comparison, a serial killer of self confidence, and a conduit for isolation and emotional decay. Remember it takes at least 10 photos and a few filters to get the perfect one to post! Stop comparing yourself to photo number 9, 15 or 20! What you see in the mirror is the beautiful, unfiltered, truth! Focus on that!

If you follow anyone or are apart of any group that causes your answer to anything on this list to be yes! Unfollow immediately!

Your mental and emotional health MATTERS!

Choose Rest

Resting is a learned behavior! Sometimes it’s wiser to halt the grind and give yourself permission to rest, relax & recover!

#ChooseRest. It’s apart of self care! If you truly love you, you’ll allow yourself time and space to rest.

Your body, your spouse, your children, family and friends will thank you!

The Spirit of Christmas

What a beautiful day! This Christmas we are grateful for love, for life, for family, divine connections and provision.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Remember, it doesn’t matter what’s under the tree or hidden the gift box. The spirit of Christmas lives in the heart and is found the eyes of those you love and trust! BioFamily, DivineFamily, or Chosen family these are the greatest gifts! Cherish every moment!

Sending Joy, Light, Life and so much love your way!

-Alfonzo, Gwen, Alyssa & Joshua Jones

The Power of WE

Mr. Jones: Lyss alright, don’t mess around all day and not get your room clean, Santa Claus won’t bring you any presents!

MOUTH ALMIGHTY AKA Lyss: Santa Clause is not real!

Mr. Jones: BUT YOUR PRESENTS ARE THOUGH! Try it if you want to!

****MR. 👏🏽👏🏽 JONES 👏🏽👏🏽 DOES 👏🏽👏🏽 NOT 👏🏽👏🏽 PLAY 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN GORILLA GLUE HER MOUTH SHUT ****

HYPE WOMAN AKA ME: EXACTLY … BYE BYE LITTLE GIRL👋🏽👋🏽!!!! Happy Cleaning!!! 😂🤣😂
Yes .. Boo .. Yes!!!!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏾🙌🏾✊🏽✊🏽

Lyss: magically disappears 💨 💨

Today’s demonstration: The beauty of teamwork! Parents we are stronger together!! ✊🏽👊🏾✊🏽

#WeRJones #Christmas2019

Tips for Coping with Holiday Greif

Ode to Our Loved Ones Lost

You are loved and you’re not alone.

As we enter into the holiday season, spend it as YOU see fit and honor loved ones lost, in your own special way.

The holidays definitely can stir up a ton of mixed emotions that can put you in a slump. It’s a very blah/grey space to exist in.

However, sometimes we compound the sorrow we feel through our efforts to escape feeling anything at all through business or isolation. The pain of exhaustion, oblivion, or intoxication we deem easier to bear than the pain of facing and embracing our loss.

There is also guilt associated with enjoying your holiday season in the absence of our loved one. In our minds and hearts, our enjoyment somehow equates to us “forgetting” and evokes the pain associated with thoughts and feelings of “moving on.” Understand that you can never move past the precious moments and experiences shared with loved ones. Consider this, replace the thought and feeling of “moving on” with “carrying with.” Remember our loved ones now live through us. Their memories, dreams, and legacy are kept alive via our shared memories and moments with them.

Lately, I’ve missed my Mommy Dearest more than ever! December holds much joy and pain for my family and her empty chair still saddens my heart. However, I’m learning that sometimes, I need to allow myself to exist in mourning momentarily instead of constantly ignoring or trying to escape these thoughts and feelings. They are real, they are my heart and minds way of honoring her memory and reminding me that I haven’t forgotten her and she lives on, in and through me.

Recently, I’ve begun to create space to honor her memory and embrace the pain of having to live life and continue to enjoy experiences in her absence. I haven’t always been strong enough to look at her photo, but I am now and beautiful photos of her and our family now rest on my office desk. I listen to songs that she and I shared and allow tears to fall down my cheeks. My tears are full of love for my Mother, and I need them to flow to remind me that she is still very much a part of my life. I may not be able to hear her voice or feel her touch, but her words, her teachings, her advice, her moral, her legacy, I carry with me everyday and I am now graced with the precious opportunity to now transfer these precious moments and memories to my children.

So laugh, cry, write, paint, read, and rest with your favorite memory, but whatever you do, don’t ever let it go. Purpose to carry it with you always and to gift those moments to future generations.

The Greatest Responsibility

One of the greatest responsibilities of parenting is praying that God will reveal each child’s unique gifts and talents and once revealed becoming intentional about developing those gifts. It’s taken a while for our Joshua, but we know he was born with purpose! I believe we are beginning to see clearly now, his gift is in his voice and unique personality. It’s ironic because during his earlier years he didn’t speak much!

Either way, it’s being confirmed more and more so I’ve begun taking him with me to my Toastmasters’s meetings and getting him involved to stir up his gift. Last meeting he was the Joke master (he’s always got a good joke). At tonight’s meeting, he was on the agenda as the joke master, he told his jokes and then he volunteered to be a table topics speaker! 

The impromptu christmas themed speech topic he got tonight was, “tell us why you are jealous of Santa Claus.”

He nailed it! This is such an exciting time for us as parents! Who knows where this will take us/him debate, lawyer, advocate, possibilities are endless. All we know is one day SOON, his VOICE will change the world!

We love you Joshua!

The Greatest Gift

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

When I was a child, I was so excited, I could hardly sleep

Now that i’m an adult with children of my own Christmas is stressful and incredibly wasteful. I remember buying cheap useless trinkets just to make the tree look “full.”

The lines, the pressure, the demands, the parking!

After it’s all over, then you are tasked with creating space to store all of the new stuff you’ve acquired. Consider this, We’re constantly acquiring stuff, but never discarding it.

Did you know,

*Back in 2013, the LA Times reported that the average American home has over 300,000 items in it and there are over 50,000 storage facilities nationwide (and this is the fastest growing real estate segment!).
*At least 1 in 10 of us have a storage unit to store our excess stuff.
*There are five times more storage facilities in the U.S. than the number of Starbucks!
*There is enough physical space for every man, woman, and child in America to stand in U.S. storage facilities — all at the same time!

The AVERAGE family spends $1,700 on clothes annually while giving or throwing away over 200 pounds of clothes per year.

Only 3% of the world’s children live in the US, but they own 40+% of the world’s toys!

Many studies have shown that material possessions do not equal happiness and that experiences are much more intrinsically fulfilling that things.

Why

They basically concluded that people tend to get less happier with material purchases over time, and more happy with experiences. They speculate that this is because we adapt to physical things, so even the nicest car or newest phone becomes commonplace after enough time, while memories tend to get fonder over time.

This year our family has adopted the 4 Gift Rule. We’ll give each other something we want, something we need, something to wear, and something to read. Then we’ll exchange “experience gifts” we’ll play games, bake cookies, read the Christmas story and cuddle on the couch with popcorn to watch a movie.

Shared family time and experiences have been linked to:
*bonding within the family
*fewer behavioral problems in children
*a stronger sense of identity
*a sense of security for children
*higher rates of academic success
*lower rates of violence

This holiday season, as you make your lists and check them twice, consider replacing needless trinkets with an experience that will last a lifetime.

Your family will thank you for it.

https://wellnessmama.com/62144/give-experiences/

The Blessing on the Other Side of YOU!

YES YES YES!!

Have you ever considered the idea that your healing isn’t 100% for or about you???

Do it for you.

THEN

Do it for your children.
Do it for your legacy.
Do it for those too afraid to try.
Do it for those that have never seen.
Do it because you’ve been purposed and gifted to help another!

There’s nothing like freedom! Break the chains, now!

💕✊🏽Gwen
http://www.gwendolynjjones.com

Go! Fight! WIN!

Keys to win the fight of your life!

Listen, the hardest battle you will ever fight are the ones against yourself!

You vs The Voices of Your Past
You vs Your False Belief Systems
You vs Your Pain
You vs Your Truth
You vs YOUR Journey to Purpose
You vs Your path to freedom

How do you win?
1) Know Thyself – not who The voices told you you should be. Not sure who you are? Do your work, connect with myself or other counselor for clarity.
2) “To thine OWN SELF be true” Repeat this affirmation daily and judge every decision against this motto.
⚠️ As you become, evolve, and begin to walk in your truth, many will not understand and some will leave. Be ok with that
3) Build a power team. Set your boundaries, then share your dreams, thoughts, divine revelations, and personal truths.
⚠️ This may not be the circle for your childhood friend, favorite family member, or ride or die. Your evolution may require exposure to new environments, or perhaps, the wisdom that you’ve been resisting, but know you need.
4) Submit to wisdom and solid instruction. Give someone permission to hold you accountable. Check in frequently and humbly.
5) Change your perspective, realize that your biggest competitor is you! Properly place expectations and commit to daily growth.
⚠️ Consider past an instuctor and bridge to your future and not the key holder of your prison.
⚠️One day at a time, one moment at a time. Every day is a new opportunity to begin again.
⚠️Every moment is unique, some will bring pain, others pleasure, be willing to embrace and find a win in them all.
6) Create room for growth. Celebrate ALL wins, big and small. Consider yourself a work in progress. Keep pressing toward the mark!
⚠️ Resist the urge to pursue perfection, you will make mistakes, let that be ok. CHOOSE the pursuit of honesty, personal growth, and acceptance just as you are, right where you are.

Remember, we’re stronger together.

I love you genuinely & unconditionally,
Contact me today.

❤️Gwen
http://www.gwendolynjjones.com