What do you trade daily for approval? Your time? Your ideas? Your Voice? Your talent?As an advanced Grief Recovery Specialist, I teach clients about a concept we call “Approval seeking.” Approval seeking behaviors are dangerous. They can be life limiting and purpose killers. We all have them, some we’re aware of some we aren’t.
For me it was makeup 💄! There was a time where I would never leave my house without a full face! What if I saw someone while my face was bare, What would they think? I hated having to present myself as flawless due to fear of rejection if anyone saw the natural me! But I did it for years!
Again I ask, what are you trading for the approval of others? Don’t think you have any approval seeking behaviors? Finish these sentences, “I can’t leave the house without ….”, “I don’t …”, “I’d love to …”, “I have really good ideas …” Answer these questions honestly then write out your why? Why don’t you share your ideas? Why don’t you speak up? Why don’t you show up as your authentic self? Why aren’t you doing what you love? Once you understand your why, you’ll identify areas in which you seek approval!
If you’ve discovered that you’re probably employee of the year at “Trade it.” No worries, this is awesome and I’m beyond excited for you! Why? Because now that you’re aware you can adjust! YOU CAN CHOOSE to say NO! You can regain control of your life.
Stop adapting and start becoming, it’s your time! We need what you have, but your gift will only come from the authentic you. The approval seeking you is a puppet with a puppeteer. Cut those strings today and reintroduce yourself to the world. Warning everyone won’t love and accept your authentic you, that’s OK. Prepare your heart for loss, but stand your ground. I promise, if they leave and choose to return, they will return on YOUR TERMS! Enlarge your territory, remove the costume, and begin to display your new wardrobe. Then watch them fall in love with the authentic, unapologetic you! These relationships will be built to last.
Gwendolyn J. Jones 